Do the Opposite - Motivation Will Not Get You There, Running, Sisu Mental Toughness, Secret Project

Greetings friends,

Welcome to the newest issue of the Do the Opposite newsletter, sent every Monday! If you like it, please forward this email to your friends or share this link with them: tinyletter.com/dotheopposite - this helps the newsletter grow!

If you want to share any resources, articles, books or anything else with the community, please reply to this email with your recommendations!
_________
Motivation will not get you there
I've picked this thought from David Goggins. The idea is that motivation is mostly worthless, because it's not something you can rely on to stay consistent, you need to develop self-discipline.

Motivation comes and goes, and is usually present when everything in our life is going great: there are no conflicts at home and at work, our health is good, the economy and the world are in OK state, we don't worry about imminent deadlines, etc. How often does that kind of peace of mind happen in real life? In my experience it usually lasts 3-4 days before the next mini-crisis comes. Or, maybe some fun event or activity takes the major portion of our day and by the time we are done we have absolutely no energy and no desire to do the worthwhile activity we planned to. This is how new habits we attempt to develop go off the rails.

The key is self-discipline. Motivation is a flaky friend that comes and goes whenever the circumstances suit them. Self-discipline does not care about any outside events or conditions. If we are serious about changing our life, we must detach ourselves from the dependence on anything that happens in our lives and only focus on the habit/worthwhile deed/action that we've decided we would do.

For example, if you are a smoker and you are motivated to quit smoking, it doesn't mean much: if a very stressful situation develops at work, a person who is motivated to quit will pick up a cigarette again. On the other hand, another person who have decided to tie quitting to self-discipline instead is more likely to continue. They of course may slip up and have a couple more cigarettes, but in general their foundation for breaking the habit is way stronger because it is grounded in their own personality, self-worth and pride.

Similarly, in another example, if you are motivated to exercise, your resolve only goes so far. Instead you need to create a system - a schedule of sorts on which days of the week you will exercise on, which time, place and what exercises/reps you will do (the more detailed you get at this step the higher are your chances for success). Then your sole focus becomes pushing your mind over the obstacles it will be creating for itself ― various rationalizations why you shouldn't do it now, or today, or why you can skip a day, or why you can make it up the next week, etc.

For more on pushing your mind over the next obstacle, read my comments below under the video by Jocko Willink.

Personal Update ― finished my first race yesterday!
My wife Annie and I have run our first running race! It was a great experience; it's so much fun running alongside other people, feeling the spirit of friendly camaraderie! We've originally signed up for 5K Terry Fox Run race here in Toronto. If you don't know the story of Terry Fox, read it here! He is a true inspiration! We ended up running 10K instead (2 laps around the park). P.S. I've run the whole way with the backpack on the photo, because I didn't have anywhere else to put it :)

The next race I have signed up for is coming up this Sunday - we will be running along an airplane runway! :) I will keep these updates coming for the ones of you who enjoy running or considering to start running! If you have questions on how to start running, please reply to this newsletter and I will share my experience (so far) with you!

+ Bonus: Secret Project
This year I've been slowly working on a project I really care about, and though it's coming together nicely, I want to focus my efforts and give myself a proper deadline so I can start planning the launch and put more effort into making the project itself. I've put a lot of thought and consideration into it, and with time I just can't stop thinking about it... :) I will release the project by New Year's - 2020. You, as the readers of this newsletter, the people who have gravitated here because we are like-minded, will receive all the news and updates on this project first, as well as be invited to a beta-test first. More to come!

Articles:

1) "Sisu: How to Develop Mental Toughness in the Face of Adversity" by James Clear
I've reread this article multiple times since it was first posted by James. It talks about a Finnish concept of sisu, defined as "Sisu is the concept of taking action in the face of significant adversity or challenge. It is not so much about achievement as it is about facing your challenges with valour and determination."

It is similar to grit and is about making a conscious decision to stay in the fight, to face the challenge when the situation seems extremely bleak and there is virtually no hope of getting through it successfully. You detach yourself from the outcome, and focus on moving forward. This reminds me of a quote attributed to Winston Chuchill: "If you're going through hell, keep going."

The story behind Sisu becoming internationally known has to do with the Winter War, when 300,000 Finns had to defend their country from the seemingly overpowering Soviet Union that sent 900,000 warriors there at the time. Not exactly a fair distribution of power. That didn't stop the Finnish people from winning the war. They didn't have to crush the Soviet Union but to show enough resistance that it would back off, but at the time nobody knew what the intentions of it were, so a simple soldier had no assurance that the war was not hopeless. Yet they stood their ground. All you need to know the mentality of doing the opposite and its ethos can be drawn from this short story.

2) "Why Euthanasia Rates at Animal Shelters Have Plummeted" by Alicia Parlapiano
I love finding positive news! The mere fact of a news item being positive is already a "do the opposite" act by the publisher/journalist. In this article, Alicia explores the rise of the pet adoption, when instead of buying a puppy/kitten/other animal of a specific breed, they opt for adopting an animal from a shelter. This is an extremely positive trend and I am happy to share this with you.

Videos:

1) Guide to Waking Up Early - Staying Alert and Keeping the Peace - Jocko Willink
This is something I am working on since this summer, and I've become a bit better at it. I want to get more consistent in waking up early, especially because if I wake up at 6am sharp I am able to go running before work. Postponing the run to the evening always sounds good, but that's just my brain liking it because it's a comfortable solution, and I find that I usually don't run after work even when I tell myself in the morning that I absolutely will. More work needs to be done to strengthen the mind and develop self-discipline, and it's a very interesting journey: it feels like I am learning more about myself in the process, especially about the fact that the limits I think I have are illusory, and can be broken with just a bit more effort.

Pushing beyond your perceived limits is not something you can easily incorporate into your life, because the situations you get into are very different and it becomes difficult to form an accurate picture of what exactly "pushing beyond a limit" constitutes. That's where running comes in. In running, we often get to the point where it feels like we can't run further or that we can't run faster, or that we can't run today at all. That's the exact moment where you can take control over your own mind and make a decision to push through that barrier. What you often find beyond it is more energy and increased capacity, and of course by you having done that, your mind has expanded.

2) How to Get Your Brain to Focus | Chris Bailey
Chris was frustrated with his inability to focus, so he decided to experiment: he would only use his phone for 30 minutes a day. Watch for what happened next! No, better! Try that experiment yourself!

Resources:

"Buy It For Life" Subreddit
This is a follow up to the "The fight against the Planned Obsolescence" topic in the previous issue of this newsletter. It's a cool subreddit I accidentally found when doing some research on what the most durable backpacks are. :) The posts are mostly of 2 types: one if people asking for advice on what brand/model to get for maximum durability when buying something, and the other type is when somebody shows off an item (usually with a photo of it) that has been serving them well for decades. Amazing resource for picking long-lasting products.

Tweet that resonated with me

Bonus: The Dance of a Thousand Hands

Ethos:

Quotes:

"A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on. Ideas have endurance without death."
― John F. Kennedy

"The focus on talent distracts us from something that is at least as important, and that is effort. As much as talent counts, effort counts twice."
― Angela Duckworth, "Grit"

_________

TELEGRAM CHANNEL: Do the Opposite has a public Telegram channel. The content there is a little different than in the newsletter: faster to consume, a bit more random - basically anything weird or interesting that catches my eye - articles, tweets, videos, images, etc. Hope to see you there as well! :) Here it is: t.me/dotheopposite

If you find this newsletter helpful, please consider forwarding this email to to your friends! Or just give them this link: tinyletter.com/dotheopposite

Keep doing the opposite,
Alexander Kallaway
Website: dotheoppo.site
Twitter: twitter.com/ka11away