Do the Opposite #54 - How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything, Chain Reaction of Habits, Secret to Self-Control

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How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything

There is a reason why people often say "If you want something done, give it to the busiest person you know". If someone has a track record of doing things and competing projects, there is a high likelihood they will do it again. Same goes for being truthful, keeping one's word, and more.

That holds true throughout the span of activities a person does. If a person does things well in one area, they usually do thing in other areas well too.

If you are disciplined, careful and attentive when you review and submit your taxes, you probably also treat writing reports and emails the same way, etc.

Here's how you can use this: Let's say there is a problematic area in your life where you're struggling to get to the level of effectiveness and consistency that you'd like to have; you've tried many times to create lasting change there and can't seem to maintain it. What you could do is switch an problem area entirely to something else that would be easier for you to do but would train the same qualities of character that you're looking to build up.

For example, you want to start exercising consistently. You tried to start but always fall back to your old ways after some time. Instead of trying that particular habit again right away, focus on another one, like waking up early, making your bed or meditating. These habits are definitely easier to do than working out (unless you want to wake up super early :) ) and they will teach you to be consistent. Performing them consistently will improve your self-confidence and will show you that you can, in fact, stick to a habit.

Once you've successfully cultivated one or more of these easier habits, you can tackle the bigger one with much higher chances of success. By that time you will literally be a different person than tried and failed before.

The "How You Do Anything is How You Do Everything" principle is why some people appear very successful and larger than life: they've just learnt to do things a certain way, to push through discomfort and laziness and finish tasks with care and focus. They can't help it but do everything in such manner.

P.S. Remember also that these people say No to plenty things. Time management is not about putting as many things on your to-do list as you possibly can. In fact, that would defeat the purpose. You can do things well only if there is time to do them well, otherwise you will be jumping from task to task. Here we talk about fighting laziness, resistance and procrastination by either using the time we've been wasting, or by clearing the unnecessary tasks and making time for the important things.

Personal Update

I've run my first 5K of 2020 last Sunday. Getting back on track with running turned out a bit harder than I thought. I've lost a lot of the shape I was in last year's autumn, so my leg muscles were in pain all day today. Running is a lot of fun and I can't wait till my next run!

I'm still doing the #100DaysOfMeditation challenge, now on Day 69. I've also started #100DaysWithout Coffee yesterday, today is my Day 2 :) If you're interested in the #100DaysOfX challenges, here's its Twitter and the Official Website.

Articles

1) "Lessons in Fear and Wealth from the Coronavirus" by Mr. Money Mustache
I know it's all doom and gloom everywhere, but here's a post where Mr. Money Mustache tries to calm us all down a bit, explaining the situation with math and graphs (as he likes), providing financial advice in times of a crisis like this along the way.

2) "How to Create a Chain Reaction of Good Habits" by James Clear
Once you adopt a habit that positively impacts your life in one aspect, it tends to have other beneficial side-effects throughout your life. For example, you start meditating every day, and you become calmer and more rational: you then make better decisions at work and your relationships with the people close to you improve as well.

There is a concept of a "Keystone Habit" as well, which is very similar to this. Studies found that people who have completely turned their lives around, have done it one habit at a time, starting with one initial, keystone habit. Then, they would look at that area of their life that is working, become proud and inspired to adopt other changes, emboldened by their success up to that point.

3) "If Sugar Is So Bad For Us, Why Is The Sugar In Fruit OK?" by Kacie Dickinson, Jodi Bernstein
If you've wondered why there is a big difference between eating refined sugar and eating fruit (which if you think about is basically sugar), this article is for you!


Videos

1) "David Goggins on Drinking Alcohol and Doing Drugs"
Goggins neither drinks nor takes drugs, but not for the reasons you might think. He does it because he doesn't want to mask the discomfort and fear by blurring his focus. He wants to feel all of it and overcome it using his willpower and determination.

2) "The Secret to Self Control" | Jonathan Bricker
In this enlightening talk, Jonathan shares an uncommon way to break a bad habit: instead of denying yourself pleasure, trying to quit cold turkey (which sometimes also works), explore the craving - be conscious of it without acting on it. Then distance yourself from it like this: "I want X" => "I'm having a craving for X" => "I'm feeling I have a craving for X". As you distance yourself further and further from the immediate urge to act on the habit, you create space for yourself to examine the situation and try to make a better decision. This approach doesn't guarantee you will make the right decision every time, but it has higher success rates than trying to quit bad habits cold turkey.

3) "Could You Live Without a Smartphone?" | Anastasia Dedyukhina
Have you recently tried going a day without your smartphone? I dare you to try it! These days, smartphones are like extensions of ourselves: they allow us to do things faster and easier. No need to remember the route, just use Google Maps! No need to bother searching for the right word - just send an emoji!

Of course, all of these and other features make our daily life more convenient, but it also "chains" us to the phone, and steals our freedom and free time. How often have you taken your phone out to look at one thing, and 20 minutes later realize you've been scrolling through feeds this entire time! On top of that you forgot why you took the phone out in the first place!

The goal then is to use a phone without letting it control your life and your time. Anastasia further explores this topic.

P.S. Building up on the above: last year I've written in another issue of this newsletter about why I downgraded my phone. Read it here.

Bonus: If you're into rap, Eminem has released a music video to a track "Eminem - Godzilla ft. Juice WRLD" from his latest album. Here it is!

Tweet of the Week

Bonus Tweet

Ethos

Quotes

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."
― Mahatma Gandhi

"We all lose sometimes. We fail to get what we want. Friends and loved ones leave. We make a decision we regret. We try our hardest and come up short. It's not the losing that defines us. It's how we lose. It's what we do afterward."
― Scott Jurek, "Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness"

"Run for 20 minutes and you’ll feel better. Run another 20 and you might tire. Add on 3 hours and you’ll hurt, but keep going and you’ll see—and hear and smell and taste—the world with a vividness that will make your former life pale."
― Scott Jurek, "Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness"

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Keep doing the opposite,
Alex Kallaway
Website: dotheoppo.site
Twitter: twitter.com/ka11away