Do the Opposite #48 - How to Tell if an Action is Worth Doing, How to Break a Habit, Are you Partially Committed?

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How to Tell if an Action is Worth Doing

Often the outcome or the consequences of doing a simple action are difficult for us to judge. After all, who cares if I eat this doughnut or a cookie today? On a grand scheme of things, it won't make a difference and I won't remember it after a week. If I do 20 push-ups today, I am not going to become fit in a day.

We tend to have little appreciation for things that take time, because our brains have evolved to care more about immediate dangers or rewards. We started thinking long-term very recently (since we started to grow our own food), and hence it's so difficult for us to judge whether a single action is good or bad for us.

Shiny and easy things seem to offer us the reward now, so who cares about the future that might not even come! However, in life, successful people are the ones who are able to think and act with a long-term focus.

You can't become a doctor in a week. It takes years of "mental investment". You can't become fit after doing exercises for 2 weeks, or lose weight by being on a strict diet for 4 weeks. The changes you make must be smaller, sustainable, and consistent over a long period of time.

When we actually have to make these small decisions though, it's difficult to convince ourselves that we're not just wasting our time and energy. It's like trying to judge if a book is good by reading 2 pages.

Here's what I found helps me see the long term perspective. I am not perfect of course so there are multiple times when I don't follow my own advice, but the goal is to practice and become more aware of when I need to use this method.

In order to determine if a certain action I'm doing or about to do is worth doing, I ask myself several useful questions which I want to share with you.

Ask yourself:

• If I did this action every day (or 3 times a day) for the next 5 years, what would my life look like?

• If everyone did this action, what would society and life be like? Would they be better or worse?

Answering this questions about any small choice really puts things in perspective.

How about that doughnut? What if you ate it 3 times a day every day for the next five years? What would your life look like?

Today you decided you want to meditate for 15 minutes. Meh... Does that change you? Does that make your life richer and better? Let's use our questions! If you did this action (meditate for 15 minutes) every day for the next 5 years, would you say your life would improve? I'd say YES!

Try it out with the little decisions you are making throughout the day and report back, I'm excited to hear from you! I hope it helps you make better decisions, as it helps me!


Articles

1) "Why We Are Hard-Wired to Worry, and What We Can Do to Calm Down" by James Carmody
Throughout the thousands of years we've had to hunt and gather our food, keep away from predators and take many other actions which are all related to basic survival, we've developed a great sense of anxiety and worry. In the past, these were required to make us do things that were dangerous and/or uncomfortable so that we could, well, continue living. Nowadays, these emotions hurt us more than they help us, most of the time. James shares some reasons why we are the way we are as well as offers some remedies of how we can calm ourselves down.

2) "The Heartbreaking Effects of Being Only Partly Committed to Most Things" by Leo Babauta
Often we partially commit to projects and goals because we are afraid that if we go "all in" on something and still fail, there would be no redemption for us. So we settle for doing things half-way (at best). If we are not 100% committed to a project or a goal, we give ourselves a Get Out of Jail Free card to fail, accepting the failure before we even start. This helps get away from the fear of failure, but it also brings with it mediocrity and we never become proud of ourselves and our work. We're faking it and we know it. Leo shares advice on how to reduce commitments and make the ones that are left so strong they can cut steel.

3) "Forget 'Earth-Like' — We'll First Find Aliens on Eyeball Planets" by Sean Raymond
When thinking of what other planets could sustain life it's easy to think about planets very much like our Earth: with similar size and a very specific distance from their star system's "Sun". However, so called "eyeball" planets - planets that don't rotate, but instead always face the star with the same side (think of how our very own Moon is always facing the Earth with the same side and the dark side of the Moon is always hidden from us looking at it from the Earth's surface). That means that if the planet is close enough to its star, one half of it is very hot and the other is relatively cold, but the "belt" in between the two is the perfect mix of the right conditions and processes that have enough variation to potentially birth and sustain life. Exciting!

4) "The Race to Invent the Artificial Leaf" by Varun Sivaram
What's a long term way of storing sustainable energy? Plants store the energy produced by photosynthesis in their leaves. The scientists are looking to build our own version of that, an artificial "leaf" so to say.


Videos

1) A Simple Way to Break a Bad Habit | Judson Brewer
Could simple observation and curiosity helps us get rid of unwanted habits? Judson definitely thinks so and has research to back it up! I was surprised by the results of some of the experiments he describes in the video. For example, simply telling people who wanted to previously failed to quit smoking to really pay attention and be in the moment, be curious about the process of smoking has led these people to claim that the smell and taste of a cigarette was revolting.

I think we do that with a lot of our bad habits: we use them to fix some nagging feeling, relieve stress - all without really being conscious of it. Once we "wake up" and take a sober, focused look at the activity, it loses all its power over us. Fixing our issues and urges at their core has the benefit of 1) getting to the root of the issue 2) foregoing the "replacement activity" (the bad habit) that we did to numb the discomfort.

Being conscious demands more from us than letting things run on their own, but as we practice it more and more, we are able to address the underlying issues and qualitatively improve our lives.

2) Family Man Retires at 39 – Extreme Early Retirement | FIRE
Another great early retirement story! I liked this one because Tim (the early retiree profiled in the video) is very realistic and logical when it comes to making and explaining the decisions he made along the way, and also because he has kids. People often dismiss the idea of a potential early retirement, saying that only the people without kids can do that effectively. This story proves them wrong.

3) Terry Crews' Keys to Self Discipline Part I Part II
Terry Crews is an amazing person - always so positive and full of energy! (Check out "Brooklyn 99" if you haven't) In this 2-part video he shares some advice on how to improve self-discipline. I was amazed by his openness and honesty.

Terry shared a concept of HALT: Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. These are the states in which a person is most vulnerable to succumb to their bad habits. When feeling any of the emotions/states above, we need to HALT, change the automatic, easy choice (the bad habit) and address the real problem. If a person is hungry, they should eat, but try to make it a healthy meal now that they have awareness of the hunger. If they feel angry, they need to take time to come down, and not take it out on the next person they see, etc.


Tweet of the Week

Ethos

Quotes

"Most people don't know why they're doing what they're doing. They imitate others, go with the flow, and follow paths without making their own."
― Derek Sivers, "Anything You Want"

"If more information was the answer, then we'd all be billionaires with perfect abs."
― Derek Sivers

"The happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life."
― Brian Tracy

"The tragedy is that society (your school, your boss, your government, your family) keeps drumming the genius part out. The problem is that our culture has engaged in a Faustian bargain, in which we trade our genius and artistry for apparent stability."
― Seth Godin, "Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?"

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Keep doing the opposite,
Alex Kallaway
Website: dotheoppo.site
Twitter: twitter.com/ka11away