Do the Opposite #35 - Birthday Reflections, Minimalism: A Trick To Get Rid Of Memorabilia, Using A "Dumb Phone", Social Media Detox

Greetings Friends,

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Birthday Reflections: How Not To Be Upset On Your Birthday

Today I turn 28 years old. Usually for me my birthdays are bitter-sweet, like for many of us. There have been birthdays recently when I was in a bit of a sour mood. This year has been different and here's the reason behind that change:

I've finally started working on my projects and putting them "out there". In previous years I've had a lot of ideas that I kept accumulating and thinking that "some day I should definitely make that a reality". That happened to a lot of ideas both good or bad.

If you don't follow through on your ideas it doesn't matter if they are good or bad: nothing changes. Often, an idea seems brilliant until it meets the test of reality, and the opposite is true: sometimes we underestimate an idea, and upon the smallest step taken towards actualizing it we get a flood of validation from the world that this idea is actually a good one. Again, I must say, that will never happen if we don't do anything.

So there I was, accumulating ideas, fantasizing how great things would be once I actualize one or more of them. I've started the DTO newsletter in 2015, but sent my third newsletter in 2019. Here we are now at Newsletter #35.

In the past years I spent my birthdays being sad about all the unfulfilled potential I was "leaving on the table" by giving in to procrastination, distraction and fear. This year is different and even though I haven't accomplished anything spectacular, I feel great, because I know I am on my way and I am "doing the work".

My Birthday Wish

I have one birthday gift I want to ask for (and it is absolutely optional). If you enjoy this newsletter, forward it a couple of your friends that you think might enjoy the topics I cover here. It will help me grow this project and the Do the Opposite community further. You can also just send this link to them: https://tinyletter.com/dotheopposite.
If you are willing to go overboard with the help, instead of sending your friend the information, tell them about the newsletter in person! I am beyond grateful for all your help and I've been floored with the positive feedback I've been getting so far! Thank you so much for sharing this journey with me!

Practical Lessons From $100 Startup

I've finished the $100 Startup book and I must recommend it to you again. If you are thinking/dreaming of creating a project of your own, a business or maybe a blog or a personal brand, this book contains tons of high-quality practical advice you can use to start making your dreams a reality.

For example, I took the idea of doing a book giveaway for the DTO newsletter from this book and it worked beautifully. I want to experiment more and will definitely keep this book close to me to remind myself of various little things I can do to keep growing the Do the Opposite community!

Make The World A Better Place By Changing Where You Shop For Clothes

A friend of mine, Chao, has recommended me this beautiful resource: Good On You

It's a website that allows you to shop exclusively for clothing brands that are trying to make the world a better place, by reducing the ecological impact of clothing manufacturing, by reducing the animal suffering and helping make clothing production fair to the workers worldwide.

Next time you need to shop for clothes, check this website first! They even have a .eco domain, which I didn't know existed :)


Articles:

1) "5 Effective Exercises To Help You Stop Believing Your Unwanted Automatic Thoughts" by Steven C. Hayes, PhD
Learning to control your thinking process is one of the most impactful skills you can train in. Meditation is a great step towards that. This article shares some other exercises you can use. A mind that wanders on its own usually leads its "owner" to a whirlwind of unhappy, comparing, worrying thoughts. A mind that is controlled becomes a tool that you can use to do your bidding.


2) "The Difference Between Amateurs and Professionals" by Shane Parrish
This article definitely builds up on the concepts of the "Amateur - Professional" duality covered in depth by Steven Pressfield in his book "Turning Pro" (highly recommend it alongside with "The War Of Art"). Here, Shane shares additional comparisons of the behaviour of an amateur and a pro in different situations and the effects that has on their outcomes. By reading this short article, you will be able to highlight the areas where you are exhibiting "amateur behaviour" in your life and start correcting that.

Having said that, it's totally ok and good to be an amateur in your hobbies and fun activities - no need to try to be a professional in all you do; but when it comes to the occupation or main activity you've chosen for yourself, then the more seriously ("professionally") you treat it, the happier and more fulfilled you will be.

3) "This Is What It’s Like To Not Own A Smartphone" by Kathleen Davis
I was curious to read this. I think the topic of our over-reliance on the smartphones is an important one to bring up and I liked that the author recognizes that with time, there are more and more reasons why having a smartphone is helpful and desirable. I have considered getting a dumb phone myself, but there are a couple of things that prevent me: namely: maps, ability to take photographs, and ease of getting an Uber/Lyft to get somewhere on time.

What I think is a better option of the two extremes (latest smartphone and "dumb" phone being the extremes) is to get the "MVP" so to say - a Minimal Viable Phone :) Don't quote of me on that reused abbreviation though. What I mean is we can decide to downgrade to the simplest/cheapest phone that serves our basic needs (like the ones I've mentioned above). I've done that this summer and shared that story in this newsletter.

That downgrade can save us a lot of money and time we would potentially spend in the phone by making the phone less exciting. This is similar to the trick some people use to get themselves to use phones less: setting your phone to black-and-white mode (removing all color from display). These are the ways to win back the time that our distracted minds are eager to spend on the phone.


Videos:

1) "The 30 Day Social Media Detox" by Matt D'Avella
This video is a chronicle of a very important experiment undertaken by Matt. It also explains why he decided to do it. Indeed, it's great that Social Media helps us keep connected with friends and relatives, but when we think about our usage of it objectively, about 98% of it is pure time waste, wasting hours in the apps where each feature is designed specifically to trick our brains into spending more time in them. Time to take control back.


2) "26 Things I Don't Buy or Own - Extreme Minimalist Frugal Living" and "A Day in the Life of a Sustainable Minimalist" by Youheum
I've been watching lots of minimalism videos last week, to get inspired to put in more effort into getting rid of the things I don't use and don't require. For me that process is very slow. These videos and Youheum's channel have stood out by how extreme she takes minimalism. I mean, she is furniture-less. I didn't even know that was a thing :) Watch these not with an idea that you need to do all of these things, but for ideas in which you can simplify very specific things in your house/apartment. Once you see what people like Youheum do and how extreme they can take the minimalism ideas, a lot of the stuff you considered too hard or unreasonable doesn't look that bad anymore!

A trick I use to make myself get rid of memorabilia (and even simple items that have no real sentimental value but which I still struggle to give away/throw out) is very simple. Take a picture of it! I've used that trick to get rid of t-shirts that family members have given me as gifts but which no longer fit me or that have lost their color/good look. I've also used it for small memorable items that I am afraid I will forget I had, which was blocking me from just throwing them out.

Once I take a photo, I know that I will have "memory" of the item in the future, and I can easily get rid of it. Try it!


Tweet that resonated with me

Ethos:

Quotes:

"A lifetime is so precious,
and so brief,
and can be used so beautifully."
— Pema Chödrön

"When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."
— Lao Tzu

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Keep doing the opposite,
Alexander Kallaway
Website: dotheoppo.site
Twitter: twitter.com/ka11away